Somedays I wake up and just think about how much change God has brought in my life in the last 18 months and I sit amazed in His presence. I used to think of the change as just utter chaos and it overwhelmed to think about it...Now I see it as God's perfect plan for my life. Trevor and I are reading one of Francis Chan's books called "Crazy Love" and one of the chapters talks about just sitting in God's presence and how as believers we need to be comfortable doing that and even long for that time with Him. We both realized that we also find ourselves having a hard time doing this...Instead we go to Him and thank Him and ask for things, but rarely ever just sit and dwell in His presence. Sometimes I feel like God forces me to do this, since I don't always do it on my own and when this happens, I am so thankful for the time to reflect on this change I am talking about.
In a summary, this is what God has done over these months...
In October of 2008, my mom's health began to decline and she was diagnosed with a blood clot and lymphoma. She was in and out of Seton hospital in Austin for the entire month of October...I felt like we lived there for that month.
Also in October in 2008, I got a Facebook message (I know, FB of all ways) from my dad's side of my family. I hadn't had any contact from this side of the family in over 20 years and I was in shock. My mom's health was declining and I discovered a side of the family I never knew. All I could think about was "What are you trying to teach me God? I know there is a reason for this all at once, please reveal it to me." I later found out, that He was doing this for two reasons...He was surrounding me with more family at a time when I needed it the most. He was also giving my dad's side of the family an opportunity to learn about the most important aspect of my mom and I's life since we left New England...that was our faith in Him. This is where our identity came from individually and as a family and this was our opportunity to share Him through our lives.
Thanksgiving and Christmas were very different that year. My mom always wanted to teach me how to cook and I always made excuses why I didn't want to, up until this year. She told me every year that she wanted to teach me how to prepare a Thanksgiving meal for my own family one day....well this year I learned. My mom sat in her chair and talked me through how to make an entire Thanksgiving dinner for the two of us. It was our year that she had been waiting for and now I know that God knew that this would be our last Thanksgiving together...Praise Him for giving us that time. Christmas was also very different...But such a blessing to have together as a family!
The month of January flew by faster than any other month of my life. My mom's health continued to decline and before I knew it, Hospice had come into our home full time. I remember sitting at home with her for days at a time. My best friend Chelsea and I spent two straight weeks sleeping on the floor next to my mom's hospital bed, taking turns getting up to give her meds every two hours. It felt like the longest two weeks, but at the same time, the shortest. I wanted to slow down time to spend as much time as I could with my mom, because I knew the Lord was going to call her home soon. On January 27, 2009 I woke up knowing that I that day was going to be the day. I remember sitting on my mama's bed with her and just spending time with her that day and writing letters to close friends. "I love you" and "Jesus" were two of the last things out of her mouth, before she went to be with the Lord.
The next few months were honestly a blur. I moved in with John & Audrey and the kids and absolutely loved living with them! It was some of the best months of my life, even during such a transitional period! I did an internship all summer, graduated in August and started grad school just 10 days after graduation! I've now been in grad school for almost a year and I'll be graduating with my Master's degree in clinical social work in August.
My boyfriend, Trevor and I started dating in the fall and he has been such a blessing in my life. It's one of the changes that's happened this year that I am SO thankful for! I can honestly say that these months that we've been dating have been some of the most joyful months I've had in over a year. I feel God's presence in our relationship daily and I am so excited to see what He has in our future! Trevor has quickly become part of my family in Buda and in Austin and I'm so excited to be spending time with his family this week and making memories with them!
That has been my life over the last 18 months... full of blessings, christ-centered suffering, JOY, and big transitions! I've lost family, gained family I never knew, was adopted into a family, and I'm hoping to keep building relationships with more family! Thanks for reading this lengthy blog and learning about what God has done in my life recently!
I love you, I'm soo proud of you, and God's favor in your life has been absolutely unreal! Reading this made me cry (hard)...and also smile so big!! :) ~Chels
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